It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
this hospital has no fireball
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
