Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
