my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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