as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I think people are normalizing furries
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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