You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
