what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
