my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
