We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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