They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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