And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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