I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
