whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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