i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
