Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
