He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
