just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
