Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
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