after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
