I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
