i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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