got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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