Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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