She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
