I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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