I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Someone stole a lamp last night.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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