I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
