i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
