Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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