We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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