Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
