she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My ATM looks so different sober.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
