I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
