I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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