he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
