It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
