that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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