Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
