Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
