He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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