i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
