Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
