He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
