Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
