Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
