Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
