how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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