Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
