remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
