do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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