We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
