I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
